Real Paul Slater'
by scumisyum
Summary: parody of real slim shady... R&R if you enjoy or not... some swear words, like in original, so watch out if you care.


'**Real Slim Shady'**

**A/N got bored, might not be great. 'enjoy'.**

_Y'all act like you've never seen a bad guy before_

_I didn't kill Jesse, he's a ghost, can't kill the dead you know_

_So stop screeching like Kelly the whore_

_When I said it was over and she broke her nail slamming the door (Aaah)_

_It's the return of the …_

"_Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, _

_he didn't say what I think he did,_

_did he?"_

_And Father D said … nothing you idiots!_

_Father D's dead, he's locked in my basement!_

_Horny woman love evil guys_

_(chigga chigga chigga)_

"_Paulie, I'm sick of him_

_Look at him, shifting around, making out with you-know-what,_

_Flipping off you-know-who," _

"_Yeah, but he's so cute though."_

_Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose,_

_But it's no worse than loving a dead corpse named Jesse, Suze!_

_Sometimes I wanna kill him and just let loose but can't_

_He's already in his grave that damn pouf_

_My abs are on your lips, my abs are on your lips_

_And if you're lucky, I'll let you give them a little kiss._

_And that's the message we deliver to little kids_

_And expect them not to know what a bastard really is._

_Of course they're going to know what intercourse is_

_By the time they hit fourth grade,_

_They have the discovery channel don't they?_

"_We ain't nothing but mammals…" Well, some of us are shifter_

_we exorcise souls for a living, we is. _

_But if we can play god in this world and sell dope,_

_Then there's no reason that Suze and Jesse shouldn't elope._

_But if you fell like I feel, I got the antidote,_

_Go back in time people and keep Jesse from dying folks!_

_CHORUS x2_

_Cause I'm Paul Slater, yes I'm the real Slater,_

_All you other Paul Slaters are just imitating,_

_So won't the real Paulie-poo please stand up,_

_Please stand up, shift your butt?_

_Jesse doesn't have to work out to get laid with Suze,_

_Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!_

_You think I give a good about ratings?_

_Half of you of you readers can't even stomach me, let alone get me,_

"_But Paul, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" _

_Why? So that Suze would die to get away from me?_

_So you can sit me next to Sister Weird?_

_Shit Kelly Prescott better switch me chairs,_

_So I can sit next to Brad Ackerman and her purse_

_And hear them argue over who bought first. _

_You little bitch, put me on blast in Carmel High,_

"_Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's insane. Hee hee!"_

_I should download her audio on MP3 _

_And show the whole world how she gave Brad VD (aaah!)_

_I'm sick of you little boy and girl groups, all you do is annoy me,_

_So I told Sister Ernestine to destroy you. (bzzzt)_

_And there's are very few shifters just like me,_

_Who cuss like me; who can't make out as good as me,_

_Who dress like me, shift, bitch and talk like me,_

_And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!_

_Chorus x2_

_I'm like a greek statue to look at, cause I'm showing you_

_Things that you dream about with friends in your living room,_

_The only difference with me and Jesse is that I got the balls to _

_Flaunt it in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false and where make-up at all._

_I just get on the podium and shift it,_

_And whether you like to admit it, I'm great at it,_

_Better than ninety percent of you of you shifters out there can._

_The you wonder why your kids eat up Mediator like valiums,_

_It's funny, cause I'll never be able to becoming thirty_

_I'll be the only book character who's on internet flirting._

_Pinching Suze's ass when Jesse's off at Dunking's_

_And shifting even when Grandpa Gork's dying. _

_And every single person is a Paul Slater lurking,_

_He could be working at Burger King, practicing at shifting,_

_Or in a cemetery, stealing from the obituary,_

_Exorcizing ghosts, chatting with a host._

_So will the real Paul Slater please stand up?_

_And kiss anything with legs that pouts?_

_And be proud to be a maniac with cash by the load_

_And one more time, Suze, which motel do we go?_

_Chorus x4_

_Haha, guess there's a Paul Slater in all of us,_

_Fuck it, I'll kill you all. _

_A/N okay… not great. Sorry. _


End file.
